My son begged me for fancy new red sneakers while shopping one day. His old shoes were getting too small, and he was convinced these new shoes would make him run faster and jump higher than ever before. The only catch? They weren’t slip-on shoes, and they weren’t fastened with Velcro. These new, coveted shoes were lace-ups.
He hadn’t learned to tie his shoes yet, and part of our compromise in the store was that if I bought them for him, he would promise to learn to tie them. He vowed to put his mind to the task, and I agreed to buy them.
Once we arrived home, we sat together on the living room floor, and I showed him each step of tying his shoes. He watched as I formed one bunny ear, wrapped the other lace around it, and pulled the second one through the hole to tie the shoe. I showed him a few times and offered him the shoe to practice independently.
He furrowed his little brow in concentration and got to work trying to tie his new red shoe. He fumbled with the unfamiliar laces and pulled them into an unintentional knot. His eyes shot up to my face in frustration and disappointment. I assured him it was okay and that I would untangle the knot and show him again.
He tried and tried, but after the fourth time of making a knot instead of a bow, he threw his new shoe across the floor and declared that tying shoes was too hard, and he wanted Velcro back. I smiled inside at this feeling I understood so well. When I am faced with an unfamiliar, new task, and I’ve tried and failed to tackle it on my own, I can feel similar emotions of defeat. I know that, as his mother, if I give in and return the lace-up shoes for his familiar Velcro ones, he won’t learn the practical and necessary life lesson of tying his shoes.
Have you prayed for relief from hardship and struggle before?
I know I have. God, in His fatherly wisdom, has often answered “no” to that prayer for me. He has lovingly watched me struggle and fight to grasp new and challenging things. He has always been there for guidance if I asked, but He didn’t remove the hardship. In the messy middle of times like this, it’s easy to feel abandoned or angry, but the reality is that God grows us through adversity.
Sitting in the messy middle of a hard or new season makes my soul restless. I long for relief from the unfamiliar, and learning whatever lesson God is trying to teach me often feels like it’s taking too long. What can we do when that impatient and panicky feeling hits our weary souls? How can we carry on?
Like a life raft that holds you afloat amid surging waves, here are some practical ways to hold onto peace as you learn and grow through adversity in Christ.
1. Remind yourself you’re not alone in your messy middle.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
Knowing that God never leaves your side during hard seasons is crucial. He is there to walk through it with you, so connect with Him in prayer and draw strength from His Word. Like a loving parent, He sees the character-building and skill-mastering that will come from your current struggle, preparing you for the good things He has planned.
2. Consider God’s unchanging goodness.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
God doesn’t allow suffering or struggle in your life arbitrarily. He uses everything for your good and His glory (Romans 8:28). His love is unending, His faithfulness never fails, and His mercies are renewed every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). Knowing these truths helps you move confidently, even when life feels chaotic.
3. Trust that God is in control.
"Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.” (Jeremiah 32:17)
God is sovereign over all things—including your life. Like Jeremiah, who looked back over Israel’s history and saw God’s hand through it all, pause and reflect on God’s faithfulness in your own life. Remember that He guides you through triumphs and hardships, and trust in His control.
4. Look for the potential harvest.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)
Just like in nature, you reap what you sow. Practicing patience, kindness, and other virtues in hard times makes you stronger in those areas over time. God is doing good things in you, even if sowing is difficult. Keep reminding yourself of the harvest that will come through perseverance.
Whether you’re entering a season of hardship, are in the messy middle, or are mercifully walking out of difficulty, one thing you can know for sure: you can trust God.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
When you don’t know where you’re going, God offers Himself as the guide to straighten your path. Let’s agree together to trust Him with each step we take, no matter how messy the middle may be.
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